


Earthlight

by Wiitennis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hufflepuff Reader, Insecurity, Jealousy, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Original Character(s), Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, lycanthropy, mentions of anxiety attacks, this is very self indulgent so, werewolf reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wiitennis/pseuds/Wiitennis
Summary: “Earthlight; it's when the light from the sun reflects off the earth and back into space, illuminating the moon. That’s where half-moons and such come from. It’s a little poetic, isn’t it? The sun gives its glow to the earth and the earth passes it on. People are a bit like that, I think, we all get our light from each other.”☾“I get my light from you.”
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Reader, Remus Lupin/You
Comments: 20
Kudos: 33





	1. Well Versed

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! this is the first series I've done in a looonnngg time, so please let me know what you think! there will be pov alternating each chapter- from 3rd person (remus) to second person, staring w remus's pov. ive been wanting to write a marauders fic for awhile and im super excited for this :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A-a werewolf bite? She needs powdered silver and-and uh…” He willed himself to think harder, to picture the pages of his old books in front of him. 
> 
> “Dittany! A mixture of powdered silver and dittany, it's the only thing that will close the wound.” 

The hum of the Gryffindor common room and its crackling fireplace made for a wonderfully peaceful atmosphere around the group of boys studying. Studying, of course, is a term they used very lightly. None of the four friends had actually glanced at their textbooks in around 20 minutes, instead, they chatted idly. Anything was better than working on the 12-inch essay they had due in the coming week. The conversation wasn’t particularly stimulating, but it was better than the task ahead of them. Remus, who had actually wanted to get something done this evening, found that in lazy company he tended to become lazy himself. The full moon had come and gone incredibly easy last night, and he was back to his usual school routine, in a better mood than usual. So, even despite the lack of productivity, he was still quite content just to be with his friends. 

“Say, you think Minnie will notice if we all turn in the same essay?” Asked the brown-haired boy, strewn across the large armchair. He was fiddling with something small between his fingers, and his eyes were focused on his own hands. Remus slowly turned his gaze to him. 

“Honestly, I don’t think she reads these bloody things at all,” Sirius said from beside Remus on the couch. His voice was muffled by the book he had left resting atop his face, the very book he was supposed to be taking notes from. His head was resting against the arm of the couch, with his legs stretched across the furniture, leaving Remus with really very little room. 

James, with his head now lifted, agreed. “The woman assigns hundreds of them, no way she’s really reading all that.” Remus rolled his eyes, wondering if they knew how ridiculous they sounded. 

“I don’t think she would make us write something and not read it...” Peter mumbled. He wasn’t at all eager to start an argument with his best friends, but he couldn’t help his soft spot for his transfigurations teacher who always went easy on him in class. The other two blew him off anyway, with a dismissive hand wave. 

“If you two want to get expelled then, by all means, hand in my essay in your handwriting with more spelling mistakes,” Remus joked lightly. 

Sirius was the first to object, “Hey! Why are you so sure you wouldn’t get expelled too, and why do you think we’d hand in your lousy essay anyway?” He crossed his arms and removed the book from his face to glare at Remus. 

“Because McGonnagal knows I’m smart enough not to cheat off of any of you lot, and because I’m the only one here who’s written more than my name on the parchment,” He retorted with a proud smirk forming on his lips. 

“I’m not so bad of a speller,” James chimed in a moment later, earning him an incredulous look from the other three boys. 

“Oh really?” Remus challenged. “If that’s true, then spell Wormtail’s last name.” Sirius let out a short laugh. “Yeah, Prongs, spell ‘Pettigrew’” 

James stared hard at Peter as if that would help him. Crinkling his eyebrows he began, “Well it starts with a P, I know that much.” He paused for a moment. 

“P-E-T-E,” 

“Wrong!” Shouted Sirius.

“Wrong? I’ve barely started!” 

Sirius opened his mouth, fully ready to start an argument if just to spice up their boring evening, but was silenced as the portrait door swung open harshly, and the common room went quiet. 

Seeing Professor McGonagall herself, in the doorway, was quite surprising. It is highly unusual to see a teacher in the common room, especially at this time of night, nearing 10 o’clock. She carried herself with an air of seriousness, even more severe than usual. The previously serene atmosphere had all but dissipated. She lifted the bottom of her dress and hurriedly moved to the center of the room, the very place where the four boys had taken residence.

The eyes of the surrounding students widened while they watched. James was already forming an excuse on his tongue, for whatever they had been caught doing. Sirius was wracking his brain trying to figure out what exactly he was about to be lectured about. 

Before either of them could open their mouth and let the excuses tumble out, McGonagall’s eyes focused sharply on Remus. 

“Mr. Lupin, you are needed in the hospital wing immediately,” She said icily. Her tone deeply unsettled the boys. The suspense surrounding her was like a thunderstorm, and they were all waiting for the lightning to strike. 

She turned to the rest of the group, “All of you are, come with me, now.” She turned heel and marched out of the portrait hole without looking behind her. 

The boys all shared a confused glance at each other and scrambled to cram their things into their bags and hightail out of the doorway behind McGonagall. As the group clambered down the hallway they began to whisper urgently to each other. 

“What do you think’s going on?” Sirius began.

“No idea, I’ve never seen McGonagall this…” Remus trailed off, unsure of how to describe anxiety the woman was onsetting. 

“This bloody terrifying you mean?” James said.

The entire group struggled to keep up with her breakneck pace through the hallways, down corridors, and up staircases. 

“I-I don’t think we’re in trouble,” Peter said hesitantly, “It doesn’t feel like she’s angry, or punishing us.” Remus mulled this thought over briefly. He had to agree. There didn’t appear to be any anger in her eyes, and he certainly didn’t know of anything the boys had done recently to warrant this level of coldness. Even so, the question that none of them had brought up still remained. 

“Why are we going to Madam Pomfrey’s?”

The teacher then spoke up for the first time since leaving the common room but provided no real answers. 

“No one is in trouble. You will find out in a moment.” She deadpanned. 

Finally, the door to the Nurses was right in front of them. Despite the way she had nearly ran to this door, she stopped abruptly upon reaching it and turned to face the group. She looked grim.

“Whatever you see from here forward, does not leave this room. I am truly sorry to ask this of you all, but I’m afraid you are the only ones that can be of assistance,” She took a shuddering breath. “Especially you, Mr. Lupin.” 

Straitening her shoulders, and pointing her chin up, she spun around and opened the large double doors. 

A guttural, earsplitting scream, echoed through the hall. The four boys jumped upon hearing the jarring sound. Remus’s hands flew to his ears in a desperate attempt to save his hearing. 

“What the hell?!” James exclaimed.

McGonagall wasted no time in entering the hospital wing and ushering the rest of them in. The sound of the door slamming closed behind them barely registered over the pained yelling and broken sobs coming from behind the pale blue hospital curtain.

When said curtain was pulled back a second later, Remus was surprised he didn’t faint at the sight before him. His stomach turned, and the blood drained from his face. He wanted, badly to look away but for some reason could not get his body to move.

On the bed, was a young girl, likely a fifth or sixth year. Her uniform shirt was completely unbuttoned to reveal her chest with the sleeves pulled down to her elbows, and her yellow tie undone around her neck. The boys would have blushed at this if not for the huge bloodied gash across her shoulder. The open would bled freely and stained the sheets around her. The girl trembled violently. Her open mouth sobs wracked her entire body and caused Remus to flinch at the sound. Madam Pomfrey frantically gathered potions while simultaneously tried to calm her hysterical patient. 

“How is she?” McGonagall asked the nurse. Without looking up she answered. “Not well. Nothing I’m giving her for the pain is working, and the wound is not even beginning to close, at this rate I’m afraid she’ll bleed out,” With quick, sloppy movements she grabbed handfuls of vials and unceremoniously dumped them into the stone bowl beside her. 

“P-Professor?” Peter spoke timidly. “What’s happening?” 

McGonnagal faced the marauders once again. “I’m afraid this student has been attacked. I called you all here because you are far better versed in this subject than I,” 

“Well versed?” Sirius interrupted, completely taken aback. “I don’t know a bloody thing about healing!” 

“Not healing, Mr. Black,” She told him. “Werewolf bites.” 

Every eye in the room (save for the bleeding girl) turned to Remus at this reveal. It was beyond shocking to him to hear these words. A werewolf bite? How in the hell would this girl have gotten bit by a werewolf? On Hogwarts grounds no less! His mind reeled at the sheer impossibility at the situation he was in. It took several seconds for the shock and utter confusion to be replaced with a rightful sense of urgency. He immediately scrambled to recall every useful piece of information about his own ailment he could think of. He, of course, had read a myriad of books about the subject and if his brain would just work a little faster he knew he could produce something useful from his head. 

“A-a werewolf bite? She needs powdered silver and-and uh…” He willed himself to think harder, to picture the pages of his old books in front of him. 

“Dittany! A mixture of powdered silver and dittany, it's the only thing that will close the wound.” 

As the words left him his limbs seemed to unlock, and he took a deep breath, relieved that he could recall the age-old information. 

“Of course!” Madame Pomfrey exclaimed. “How could I have missed that? Merlin bless you, Lupin!” 

She grabbed the previously discarded bowl of various potions and thrust it into the nearest person’s hands, which happened to be Sirius. 

“Make her drink all of that, it should slow down the bleeding, I'll be right back,” Sirius stood frozen with the concoction in his hands as the nurse turned heel and rushed to her supply cabinet. His eyes were wide as dinner plates and he did nothing but flick his eyes to the injured student and his own hands. 

“Don’t just stand there!” McGonagall reprimanded. “Do as she says!” 

“Godric, Padfoot, get a grip!” Swiftly, James grabbed the stone bowl from his friend’s hands, and bravely approached the girl. He was shocked by his own boldness and blamed it on the adrenaline coursing through him, and the pure anxiety he felt hearing her cries. The empath in him felt terribly for her. 

James cupped the back of her head as gently as he could and lifted her slightly. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying. She was only barely holding back her whimpers. By the looks of it, she was fighting to stay conscious. Remus moved to help James, kneeling on the opposite side of the bed. He wasn't quite sure what he could do to be of assistance at this moment so he settled on what he knew how to do; comfort.

“Hey,” he started gently, trying to ignore how his voice was trembling. “You've gotta let my friend give this to you. It's medicine, it'll help.” 

He had no idea if his words were even registering to the poor girl. Her eyes were glazed over in pain and her breaths were shallow and ragged. 

He shared a look with James that seemed to say ‘go for it.’ the next moment he brought the bowl up to her lips and slowly tilted the contents into her mouth. 

Thankfully, with very little resistance, she swallowed. With a cough and a small grimace at the flavor, it went down without a hitch. Remus instinctively smoothed down her hair.

“That's good, that's really good.” 

Whether she was aware of it or not, she immediately leaned into his touch. He took this as a good sign, a really good sign. Her response encouraged him. He secured his hand behind her head, and comfortingly stroked her hair. He had absolutely no idea where his primal need to reassure her came from but he truly didn’t care to think about it too much. His free hand went to her cheek; he brushed his thumb just under her eye and collected the tears there. 

“You’re okay, everything’s gonna be okay, love. Just keep looking at me, yeah?” 

Her tired eyes focused on him, and her cries began to quiet. Tears still leaked out of her eyes but her sobs had reduced to heaving breaths. When she opened her mouth he assumed it was to begin crying again, but instead, in the softest voice he ever heard she whispered, 

“ _Thank you_.”

Madam Pomfrey returned then, with all the supplies she needed in hand. Her hands worked deftly to combine the two ingredients. 

“Boys, I’ll need your help with this,” She beckoned the rest of the group. 

“Black, Potter, keep her still. Pettegrew, hold this,” She half haphazardly handed him the bowl. “Lupin you…” She studied the pair, the girl’s eyes hadn’t left Remus’s. 

“You just stay right there,” She finished. 

“This is going to hurt quite a lot, I'm afraid, dearie.” 

And hurt a lot it did. The boys struggled to keep the girl still while the medicine was applied. She flinched away from the nurse and cried out. The sobbing began again, and she desperately squirmed away from all the hands on her. The sound made Remus’s heart clench. 

Remus cupped both his hands around her cheeks and gently forced her to look at him. 

“I know, I know it hurts. It’ll be over soon. Deep breaths okay? You have to breathe through it.” 

She nodded at him though her body was trembling. He had no idea what to do other than keep talking, keep distracting her. His mouth was somehow working faster than his brain as the words seemed to flow out on their own accord. 

(He had to will himself to tune out Sirius’s continuous panicked muttering that sounded like something along the lines of “ _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck holy shit_ ,”) 

“Just focus on me, alright love? Listen to the sound of my voice. My name’s Remus, Remus Lupin. I’m in my sixth year, I think you're in my grade, yeah?” He said at a rapid pace. His hands continued to make comforting movements all the while: stroking her cheek, petting her hair. His hands worked instinctively, like his body just knew what to do. Each gesture was met with a positive response, whether it was the panic draining from her eyes, or the subtle way she leaned her head closer to him. Remus had always been observant, but at this moment he was noting her every motion. The shaky irregular breaths coming from her started to even out after a few beats. 

“I'm sure I’ve seen you in potions before. Gryffindors have had potions with Hufflepuff for ages, Slughorn is awful boring isn't he?” He was trying his best really, to take her mind off of the horrendous situation at hand. Remus couldn’t bring himself to think about what horrors awaited this girl after the physical pain wears off. The full moons, the trauma that comes with them, the shame from the wizarding world. Her entire life is being taken from her, right then, in front of his eyes. All he could do was this, offer the little warmth he could give; and it felt helpless. Still, he continued.

“Me n’ my mates call him old sluggy,” he told her. By some kind of miracle, she cracked some semblance of a smile. The corners of her mouth turned up ever so slightly, and she let out a huff of air that could definitely be perceived as a laugh. Remus, in turn, smiled brightly at her. 

As Madam Pomfrey began to wrap her bite tightly with bandages, she winced and turned to look at her damaged shoulder. He didn’t let her though, he took her cheek in the palm of his hand and lightly urged her to keep her eyes trained on him. Looking at it would only make her think more about it, he figured. 

“Merlin, you’ve got beautiful eyes, anyone ever tell you that? You must hear it loads of times. They’re gorgeous.” She scrunched her nose at the compliment, clearly not used to being on the receiving end of them. 

He opened his mouth to compliment her again, say something about her hair or her smile, anything to make this dreadful moment bearable. Before he could get another word out, the hospital doors opened once again. The girl’s eyes snapped away from him and to the doors. He released her face from his comforting hold and stood up, although a bit reluctantly.

“Albus, you’re here just in time,” McGonagall said, seeing Dumbledore enter. He nodded politely at her, though his eyes here dark and his expression was full of concern. 

“And how is she?” Dumbledore asked.  
“She’s stable, doing quite alright,” Madam Pomfrey replied. “I couldn’t have done any good without these boys though, Mr. Lupin especially.” 

Dumbledores eyes fell on Remus and the headmaster nodded appreciatively at the boy. He felt extremely awkward under the gaze of his headmaster. Remus didn’t feel like he had done anything particularly great, he was just lucky he had remembered some fact from a book. He turned to look at his friends. 

Remus would have laughed at how flustered the boys looked, if not for the situation they were in. Sirius’s eyes were the size of dinner plates, his hair matted to his forehead with sweat. He was holding a large roll of bandages so tightly his knuckles were white. In short, he looked like he was on the verge of a stress-induced meltdown. James, on the other hand, looked happy that his first medical experience was over, and just a tad mortified at the entire ordeal. Peter was standing behind the both of them, still holding the stone bowl, and in general just looking anxious. 

“Thank you for your willingness to help on short notice, I recognize this must be very stressful to you all,” Dumbledore said. 

“Just stressful? This has been a fu-” Sirius started, James was quick to cut him off with a harsh jab in the ribs. Dumbledore graciously ignored the outburst and continued speaking to the adults in the room. 

“Her parents are on their way, and she will be transported to St. Mungo’s tonight.” He told them. 

Remus wasn’t totally sure what came over him in that second, or why he cared to ask this question, but still, he cleared his throat to catch attention. “Um, Sir?” He began, all the eyes in the room turned to him for the second time tonight. “Will she-will she ever be coming back to school?” 

“That is up to her, Mr. Lupin.” 

“Well she is in no condition to have such a discussion tonight, shes hardly awake,” The nurse fussed. It was true, her eyes were glazed over. The pain had obviously exhausted her; Remus doubted she would stay conscious for must longer. 

When he looked up again his friends were standing beside him, all looking equally tired. 

“Thank you for your help again, you four. You ought to be off to bed, you still have class in the morning.” McGonagall told them. 

Remus didn’t particularly want to leave. He wanted to stay with the mystery girl, whose name he didn’t even know. Maybe it was because they would now share the same ailment, or because he had just saved her life. He didn’t know, and now that exhaustion was catching up with him, he didn’t have the energy to contradict his teacher. He simply nodded, and he and his friends left the hospital wing, heading back to their common room together. 

* * *

  
  


The weeks following the incident were painfully normal. After returning to the common room that night, and promptly passing out, the boys had not heard anything more from anyone about the mystery girl (much to their dismay). Of course, Remus and his friends had discussed the events of that evening extensively (including Sirius’s 45-minute rant about how he never wants to step foot in a hospital again, and the sight of an injury that severe had thoroughly traumatized him: “I could see bone, Moony! Actual bone!”). The four of them deliberated many theories of how she had gotten bitten, where, and if they ever were going to see the girl again. 

Remus had considered asking professor McGonagal about her, but she was a difficult woman to get alone. He wasn’t even quite sure how to approach the topic without revealing how desperate he was to know more about her. He was quite embarrassed to admit that she had not left his mind. He spent far too much time daydreaming what it would be like for there to be another werewolf at Hogwarts, or if that was something he would even want. 

Sure, it would be a relief to be able to talk to someone who truly understands his suffering, but on the other hand, he recognized how much it could complicate things. Would the shrieking shack even be able to hold two beasts? Would his friends be able to handle another wolf? The rest of his friends didn’t seem so worried though, he had already endured a myriad of jokes about “settling down with a nice werewolf like herself” to which Remus responded by throwing a book at his dormmates.

On a Tuesday morning, his wish came true. Remus sat between James and Sirius and stared blankly at the chalkboard in front of him. Professor Binns droned on about the goblin revolution of 1812, though hardly anyone was listening. The calm clearing of a throat coming from the back of the room drew everyone’s attention away from the lesson. Turning around, he saw his own transfiguration teacher standing in the threshold of the classroom. 

“Excuse me, Professor,” She said. “My apologies for the interruption, I just need to borrow Mr. Lupin.” 

His heartbeat stuttered at her words. He quickly flicked his eyes to his friends to see them equally surprised and he was, Peter with his mouth actually gaping. He vaguely heard his teacher tell McGonagall that it was fine, but Remus was busy shoving his half-completed notes into his bag. He, almost comedically, jogged the short distance from his chair to the professor. 

Realizing how over-eager he looked, he straightened out and purposefully slowed his breathing. McGonagall looked him over, with amusement in her eyes. 

“Right, let’s go on then.” 

He realized after a minute or so of walking that they were not headed to the hospital wing again, but to Dumbledore’s office. He remembered the extensive discussions he had with the headmaster in his office upon his arrival first year. The pair approached the gargoyle placed at the entrance.

“Saltwater taffy,” said McGonagall, and the gargoyle swung open to reveal the staircase that Remus knew well. He found himself growing more and more nervous as he climbed the steps. He figured his reason for being called here must have to do with the girl, but his thoughts ran wild with exactly what he was going to be told. 

He didn’t have much time to stress about it though, in a matter of seconds the large mahogany desk where dumbledore sat came into view. The headmaster had an affectionate smile on his face as he spoke softly to the person sat across from him. Remus’s pulse leaped at the sight. 

He knew it was her, though he could only see the back of her head. He could recognize her from smell alone, and even if he couldn’t, he just knew it to be the girl who had occupied so much of his mind these past few weeks. 

“Remus, Minerva, please come in,” Dumbledore said, waving them over. He forced himself to move from the entryway, far more uneasy than he needed to be. When he pulled out a chair and sat next to the girl in Hufflepuff robes, he was surprised to see her turn and smile warmly at him. He couldn’t deny, she was very pretty and looking far better than he had expected her to given her circumstances. 

“I’m sure you are already aware of the reason for this visit, Mr. Lupin?” Dumbledore asked him, his gaze tearing away from the girl’s face. Remus’s head went blank. 

“Um,” He began weakly. Though, dumbledore didn’t seem to mind his slowness.

“Your fellow student has contracted lycanthropy from a stray werewolf that had been roaming in the forbidden forest,” His demeanor switched abruptly from warm and inviting to quite serious. “She has made the decision to remain here at Hogwarts and continue her studies despite this. I’m trusting you, Remus, to ensure that she is well cared for during this transition. Do you believe you can handle that?” 

Once Remus realized that his mouth was hanging open, be abruptly shut it. He glanced at the girl next to him again. Her hands were nervously wringing together, her head bowed. It was surreal, just for him to think that this was actually happening; another werewolf was being welcomed into school. He was overwhelmed with emotion, a concoction of apprehension and excitement washed over him. He was nodding furiously before he spoke. 

“Yes sir, I can take care of her,” He declared. His mouth stretched into a smile that Dumbledore reflected. 

“Excellent, then I will let you two get acquainted,” Dumbledore said, then turned his head to speak to McGonagall, and though the matter he spoke about would probably concern him, Remus could not bring himself to pay attention. His focus was zeroed in on the girl beside him. The dopey smile on his face had not gone away, and for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t anxious thinking about the future full moon. He was just looking forward to this new change and welcoming it with open arms. 

“Hello,” He greeted. “I’m Remus Lupin.” 

She laughed kindly. “I know, I remember. I never got to thank you for that night, but I really appreciate what you and your friends did for me.” 

“Of course, its- it was no problem.” 

“Still,” She insisted, Remus was sure he was staring at her like a puppy, but he couldn’t help it. “I appreciate everything your offering to do, helping me adjust and all.” 

Remus, in some surge of confidence, took her hand in his and said with all kindness and sincerity he could express. 

  
“Anything you need, I’m here for you.” 


	2. The Lupin Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mhm, Remus is helping me with, uh, alchemy, yeah,” You said, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with any of the girls. 
> 
> “Remus doesn’t take alchemy, We have that class with Gryffindor and I’ve never seen him,” Bianca chimed in. 
> 
> Well, shit.

You bounded down the stone steps two at a time. Your hand barely touched the railing as you glided down, narrowly avoiding hitting the students coming the opposite way. “Excuse me!” and “Sorry!” were mumbled again and again as you barreled through the hallways. There was only half an hour until classes began, and you were very, very late to your meeting. 

It had been 8 days since being introduced to Remus, and 5 days since meeting his...interesting group of friends. The time since then had been fast-paced, practically breakneck. Every morning after breakfast but before classes you met with the group. Apparently their monthly full-moon ritual was quite intricate and memorizing it was proving to not be such an easy feat. This isn’t quite what you had imagined when Dumbledore told you that there was a way to endure full moons while at school. You _definitely_ weren’t picturing a giant angry tree being involved. Briefly, your mind flashed back to the very night you got acquainted with Remus. 

_“So you’re also a…” the words trailed off awkwardly. You hadn’t said it aloud yet, you realized. The word was foreign and certainly didn’t feel right to use in describing yourself. Denial proved to be the longest lasting stage of grief in your ordeal, as it started the second you awoke in St. Mungos and had not let up._

_“Yeah, I have it too; lycanthropy,” Remus replied. “You don’t have to say the ‘W’ word yet, if you’re not ready.”_

_Your eyes widened at him. Though you probably should not be surprised that he perfectly understood what you were feeling, He had gone through this for himself, after all. Smiling gratefully, you nodded. The pair of you continued towards Hufflepuff common room as he spoke._

_“So, what made you want to stay at Hogwarts?” He asked curiously. The question seemed strange to you. Who wouldn’t want to stay at Hogwarts?_

_“I’d rather be here than in a cage at St. Mungos,” You started “And because I don’t want this to ruin my life,” you added firmly. “I still want to be normal, have friends, relationships, go to school. So I’ll be incapacitated for a few days a month. That doesn’t mean I have to change how I live.”_

_He looked doubtful, you could tell that he didn’t agree with your words, but still, he nodded politely. “I get it,” he let the statement hang in the air. “I’m happy you came back,” You blushed at his words, and turned to catch his eyes, but they were planted firmly at his own feet. Red was creeping up his own neck, you would’ve laughed if you didn’t think it would only embarrass him further._

Remus was a wonderful combination of welcoming and timid. He became shy easily, you discovered. It only took an off-handed compliment to make him blush; he was also the easiest person to talk to. Conversation flowed naturally with him as if you had been friends for ages. His friends were almost equally inviting. The group had no trouble seamlessly integrating you into their daily activities, they even seemed to enjoy having a new face around. Occasionally they would get so caught up in playfully taunting each other they momentarily forgot you were there. In those moments, Remus would offer you an apologetic smile and remind you that they’re always like this, and it’s just how they get along. Though, the apology was never necessary. The antics made you smile and you certainly never minded them. 

A loud whistle broke your train of thought. Looking ahead, just beyond the nearest tree, Sirius sat, waving furiously to beckon you over. You raised your hand to acknowledge him and bounded over to the group. 

“There you are, finally,” said Sirius. “You get lost or something?” 

You barked out short a laugh and sat down beside him on the stone bench. 

“No, I didn’t get lost, Black. Just slept in a bit too much.” Leaning forward, you waved politely to Remus, who was sitting at the opposite edge of the same bench. He returned the action, looking oddly cheerful for so early in the morning. 

“Well, we all appreciate you gracing us with your presence, Sleeping Beauty,” He gave an overexaggerated bow. 

“Lay off her, Pads, you act like you didn’t completely sleep through double potions just last month,” James laughed and knocked Sirius’s shoulder. If Remus hadn’t interrupted, you were pretty sure Sirius would have rebutted. You were coming to learn that Remus was often the one to reign them in.  
“Lads, c’mon, we only have a few minutes before classes start,” While he gently berated them, you grabbed the small notepad from your bookbag. 

“Where did we leave off again yesterday morning?” James asked no one in particular. 

You flicked through the pages and skimmed over your own messy handwriting before answering. “I’ve got everything about stunning the whomping willow written down,” You told them. “The last thing we were talking about was your animagus forms, but I’ve memorized it all.” 

Your eyes flicked to Remus. He smiled at you proudly and the sight made your cheeks heat up. Lowering you head back down to your notebook, you bit your lip to fight back the dopey smile that would’ve formed. His positive attention had you preening, though you know it shouldn’t. 

“Well then,” James reached across his friend and snatched the notebook out of your hands. 

“Hey!-” 

“I’ll give it back in a second! Consider this a pop quiz, I want to see what you remember. You can even call me ‘Professor Potter’ if you’d like,” You rolled your eyes at his dumb smirk.

“I think I’m good,” you replied. It only took a moment for you to recall what they had told you; if you were being honest with yourself, you hung off of their every word. The idea of the full moon filled you with anxiety, the only outlet you had was to over-prepare. Nights were spent with your nose in a book, reading textbooks upon textbooks and scanning your own notes under the wandlight. Anything you could get your hands on regarding lycanthropy, you did. 

Straightening up, you started at the end of the line. You pointed to Remus. “That’s Moony,” Your finger moved to Peter. “Peter’s form is a rat, called wormtail.” The blonde boy nodded and gave you a smile as you moved on. “James’s is a Stag, and you call him Prongs.” Sirius looked at you expectantly and you continued, “Sirius, you’re a dog, called Padfoot, though James told me to call you Snuffles.” He jabbed his friend in his side as the other two, and yourself, laughed. 

“You are _not_ calling me Snuffles-” 

“Are you sure? I quite like it.” 

Sirius put his fingers to your lips, effectively silencing you. 

“Nope, not happening. Other than that, I’d say you got it down.” 

You nodded and smiled at the boys. “Then can I have my notebook back?” 

James rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger, feigning deep thought. 

“I’m not so sure, whaddya think Moony?” 

With only ten minutes left until classes began for the day, you weren’t sure you had time for their antics. Without having to voice your concern, Remus’s mind seemed to be on the same page. He reached past Peter and snatched the book from James’s hands.

“I think she has more than earned her own stuff back,” He said. He rose from the bench and came to stand at your feet. Remus towered over you, his height was something you had commented on more than once. Compared to the rest of your year, at 6ft 2 inches, he was a giant. “Lessons are starting soon, I’ll walk you. You have charms, right?” He said as gentlemanly as ever. 

“Yup,” you confirmed before standing and facing the remaining group. “Sorry again for being late, I’ll see you all later!” and with a polite wave, you and Remus were off towards the charms corridor. A chorus of “Bye” and “see you” sounded behind the both of you as you departed. 

The halls were filled with students rushing to get to their classes, or standing outside of them looking bored. “Your class isn’t far, is it? Id hate for you to be late on my account,” you inquired, suddenly feeling guilty that you could be earning him detention. He eased your concern immediately. 

“Don’t worry about me, I have McGonagall, just downstairs,” He waved his hand dismissively to emphasize. The rest of the walk was spent idly chatting about non-verbal spells, and his opinions on the curriculum. You noticed the way he was constantly gesturing while he spoke. His sentences were always animated by his hands, whether he did it consciously or not. It was endearing, you decided. You followed his waving hands while he told you a story about how poorly James had transfigured a button. Laughing alongside him, you both turned the corner and stopped at the door to Professor Flitwick’s classroom. Remus held a pleasant smile on his face and you mirrored it. Every interaction you had with him thus far had lifted your mood afterward; you were starting to wonder how one person could have so much sunshine in them. 

“Well, if James needs a tutor, you can tell him to come to me,” You said with an airy laugh. 

“I doubt he has the attention span for that but ill let him know.” 

A comfortable silence settled for a minute and left the two of you simply looking at each other. Just as Remus opened his mouth to say something to you, you heard your name being called from the classroom. Inside, your dormmates sat in your usual places, all three of them looking impatient and motioning you to come inside. 

“Sorry, my friends are calling me,” You said apologetically.  
“I should probably get to class too,” He responded. “Remember we’re meeting in the library after dinner, yeah?” 

“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Try not to be late for class,” you told him warningly. He chuckled, “Of course.” 

The grin on your face never left as you took your seat among your friends, waiting for the lesson to start. Two fingers harshly jabbed into your ribs, making you jump and let out a loud, and rather embarrassing squeak. 

“Hey! What gives, Avery?” you complained sharply to your bleach-blonde roommate and rubbed your side to ease the pain. 

“What gives with you? I saw you talking to Remus Lupin, since when do you two talk?” Her voice sounded rather accusatory to you, and you jumped to your own defense. “Am I not allowed to have friends other than my housemates?” 

she rolled her eyes. “Of course you can, I’m just asking, I’ve never even seen you two interact before and you seemed kinda cozy,” She explained.

Leaning forward to engage in the conversation, the third member of your dorm joined in. She rested her head on her hand and peered at you with an expectant look on her face. 

“Actually, I saw you hanging out with that whole group this morning, what do they call themselves? The marauders?” She said. 

“No way, since _when_ do you hang out with them?” Avery asked. Her bright yellow hair nearly whipped you as she turned to furiously tap the girl sitting to her left. At this rate, the entire house would know about your new acquaintances. 

“ _What_ do you need, Avery?” The girl said, all too aggravated. Her sleek black ponytail swayed as she whirled her head to glare at her friend. Avery just smiled in response and pointed to you. “Our very own roommate has started hanging out with the marauders, you know, that rowdy group of Gryffindors,” She explained.  
Her friend’s stare was blank; rather than responding to Avery, she pushed up her glasses and flicked her eyes to you. “That’s great, Its always fun making new friends,” She told you with a smile. At her praise and lack of meddling, you smiled and straightened up.

“Thank you, Gail, at least someone isn’t making it such a big deal,” You said, sweeping a disapproving glare across your other friends. 

“It is a big deal! They’re like, the most well-known boys at Hogwarts!” Avery protested. “Back me up here, would you, Bianca?” 

To your right, Bianca nodded furiously, her curls bouncing as she did so. “Plus, in my expert opinion, they’re also the hottest. Don’t get me wrong, hun, I’m in no way judging you for hanging out with them. I support you fully, and I’d support you even more if you told a certain Sirius Black about me,” She said with a smirk that you knew all too well. With an overdramatic groan, you buried your head in your arms face down on the desk. 

The absolute last thing you wanted was all this attention. Especially when it had to do with your new-found friends. What if the real reason they had accepted you into their group came out? What if the entire school found out? What if- 

“Oh, don’t be so bothered. I’m only teasing! You’re the only one of us with a boyfriend, you can’t be mad at me for seeing an opportunity and trying to take advantage,” She said with a grin that made you unreasonably annoyed.

“Are you sure you’re not a Slytherin?” You said and your dormmates chuckled. 

“But really, I’m a bit curious, how did you get to know them?” Avery asked. Usually, you could come up with a lie fairly well when being put on the spot. This was not one of those times. Perhaps it was the constant late nights spent researching, or your new-found anxiety or perhaps having your entire life uprooted was just taking a toll on you. For any of those reasons, you weakly answered; 

“Uh, I’m getting tutored by them,” 

“...tutored?” Gail questioned, her head tilting, and squinting her thin eyebrows. 

“Mhm, Remus is helping me with, uh, alchemy, yeah,” You said, desperately trying to avoid eye contact with any of the girls. 

“Remus doesn’t take alchemy, We have that class with Gryffindor and I’ve never seen him,” Bianca chimed in. 

_Well, shit._

A nervous laugh bubbled out of you, while heat rose to your cheeks. “Did I say alchemy? I meant transfigurations, he’s tutoring me in transfigurations.”

All three girls looked entirely unconvinced. They would have pressed further, but to your relief, Professor Flitwick finally entered the classroom and took his place behind the podium. Happy to end the conversation before you could embarrass yourself any further, you grabbed your quill and parchment from your bag. Your worrying could wait, you decided. All you could do right now is focus on charms. 

* * *

The library had always been something of a sanctuary. Long nights were spent there, studying amongst friends. The tall shelves filled with endless hardcovers, the smell of parchment, and the quiet whispers of students usually felt like a comforting presence, like how home should feel. Now, however, it just felt _loud_. 

The scratching of parchment made your eyelid twitch. Every turn of a page caused a microscopic flinch. Your fingers wrang together, again and again, trying to release some of your anxious energy. 

The marauders sat around you. The circular wooden table was thoroughly filled, leaving very little elbow room. Leaving everyone far too close. The texture of the mahogany beneath your fingers unsettled you, for a reason you couldn’t discern. Your body was tense, your head ached badly, and everything felt wrong. 

_Overwhelming_. That’s what it was, you decided. The library, despite being quite large, felt so uncomfortably small. You were keenly aware of your own breathing, trying to calm your nerves. The conversation of the boys drifted to your ears, but none of the words were met with comprehension, your mind was buzzing too intensely. 

“...get all that?” 

Abruptly, you snapped out of the trance you were in. The nervousness lingered, but you could understand what was being said now. 

“I, Uh, I zoned out, sorry, what did you say?” You said meekly, your voice coming out more strangled than you would’ve liked. James didn’t notice nor did he appear to be too annoyed at your seeming lack of interest.  
“I asked if you got all that? About the tree and stuff?” You hadn’t got all that, but you were fairly confident that you already knew everything you needed to know regarding the whomping willow, and felt no need to have them repeat the instruction yet again. After all, it’s all they seemed to talk about the past 2 meetings. 

“Yeah, I’ve got it, no problem,” You affirmed. Your throat was tight, and getting words past your lips took more effort than it should have. Though your discomfort had not eased in the slightest, you did your best to focus on the conversation at hand. Furrowing your eyebrows, you purposefully watched Sirius’s lips moving to keep from missing anything. The boys held these get-togethers for you, so you could be prepared for the full moon. They could easily be off doing something more interesting, the least you could do was stay alert while they spoke to you.

“We’ve never had two of you before, so we’re not quite sure how this is going to go,” He said. Peter leaned forward and placed his clasped hands on the table. In the back of your mind, you knew he had to huddle close, and speak softly or someone would hear. Despite that, the claustrophobic feelings surfaced at full force. 

“I think it’ll depend on how large your form is. You could end up being smaller than Remus, or maybe the same size. It’ll be a little tight but I think we can manage,” The round-faced boy said. 

Trying not to freak yourself out at the thought of what your werewolf form would look like, and not wanting to unpack all that right now, you simply nodded at Peter and stayed silent. Sirius inclined himself towards you casually, it was likely an unconscious act, but regardless, your body reacted instantly. Your chest tightened painfully, fight or flight response immediately going off. Had you been fully alert, you would’ve heard how loudly you had begun breathing. 

Faintly, you heard your name called. Planting your head into your hands, you tried to block out, well, everything. The pain in your head throbbed. The sounds, the texture of the table, the warmth radiating from the boys sitting beside you. It was all _too much._

“Are you alright?” Sirius’s voice sounded as though he was underwater. With a shaky breath and a whole lot of effort, you lifted your face from your palms and gave a reluctant nod.

“You sure?” He presses. You know Sirius means well, and he’s just trying to make you feel better, but he makes everything impossibly worse when he claps his hands onto your shoulder. 

It’s not normal, and you’re aware of that. A simple touch of the shoulder shouldn’t burn the way it does. Your entire body protests the touch and before you can stop yourself, you’re rocketing your body away from the table. Planting your feet on the ground and grasping the seat of the chair you abruptly push as far as you can. 

The spot on your shoulder where Sirius had innocently touched you tingles uncomfortably. You’re standing now, you realize. With hands outstretched in front of you, palms out, warning the boys to keep their distance; Your heartbeat is erratic, the sound of it pounding in your ears is deafening.

Remus moves seconds after you. He stands from his chair and takes a step back. 

“Shit,” He breathes and moves his eyes from your panicked form to the boys. 

“Stay back, lads,” He tells the confused group.

“What’s wrong? Is she okay?” Peter’s high voice comes from behind Sirius. 

Taking a tentative step forward, careful to not alarm you, he answers peter.

“I’ve got it, don’t worry, She’s okay.” 

Vaguely you’re aware that the remaining few students in the library must be staring at you. That thought had no place at the front of your mind right now, not in the midst of what you’re assuming is an anxiety attack. 

“Hey, Love,” Remus says as softly as he can manage. He takes another step towards you, with his hand’s palm up, clearly in your line of vision. He makes his movements precise and clear, as to not startle you. 

“You’re okay, everything’s okay, try and breathe, yeah?” He instructs. His tone is sickeningly gentle and sweet. It’s all too reminiscent of the hazy memories you have from the night you were hospitalized. 

Slowly, and cautiously, your hands lower back to your sides. The pounding in your chest hasn’t left, but the panic-induced fog over your mind is gradually subsiding. 

“Lads, can you, er, try to empty the place a bit?” Remus asked them, only briefly twisting his head to them before replacing his gaze on you. The boys obeyed and began ushering out the few stragglers that were left in the library at this time of night. 

“You’re okay, darling, I promise, you just have to calm down a bit,” He tells you. His eyes are filled with so much compassion it momentarily distracts you from your panic. You gulp a breath of air, noticing the subtle burn in your lungs from lack of oxygen. 

As your trembling reduced, Remus grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it over his head. His movements were slow and intentional, still being very careful not to startle you. He bunched the fabric into a ball and held it out to you.  
“I’m not gonna touch you, just put this on, it’ll help,” He says, quirking his lips up in a small, but encouraging smile. You don’t hesitate long, how could you? Not when Remus is looking at you like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever seen. A beat passes and you take the jumper from him with shaky hands, being careful to avoid brushing his fingertips. 

The fabric was soft, and the weight of it settled nicely on your shoulders when you clumsily yanked in on. It smelled the same as he did, and was still warm from being on him all day. It oddly felt very...safe, inside of Remus’s sweater. With the sleeves hanging below your hands, and hem not stopping until your mid-thigh, It held the distinct feeling of being wrapped in a hug, being _protected_. 

James, Sirius, and Peter were standing behind Remus now, all looking very worried. With the anxiety gently ebbing away, and the haze in your mind clearing, you were now aware enough to feel embarrassed. 

James said your name, bringing your attention from Remus to him. “Are you alright?” He asked timidly, like he thought you would have another outburst. 

You opened your mouth to speak, but the lump in your throat kept the words from getting out. Too choked up to answer, you pressed your lips together and gave a half-hearted shrug. You wrapped your arms around yourself, as the uneasiness steadily drained out of you. 

“I told Madam Pince you were a bit upset, she said we can stay for a while after she’s closed until you’re alright,” James said. 

You nodded gratefully. Taking a deep breath in, you coughed, hard. With a slightly more free airway, you tried again to speak. 

“Im-I’m just, I don’t know, overwhelmed?” You croaked out. “Everything’s too loud, and the lights are too bright, and you were all too close I just-” You took a shuttering breath. A concoction of leftover anxiety, embarrassment, and exhaustion was swirling inside you and leaving you just a little bit unstable. 

“Its called sensory overload,” Remus pipped up. Even in your state, you couldn’t stop yourself from noticing he _did_ look quite cute in just his stark white button-up uniform shirt, with his Gryffindor tie slightly undone. 

“It can be a symptom of lycanthropy. It happens a lot as the full moon gets closer. All your senses are heightened and it can get overwhelming,” He explained. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I didn’t think you would start showing symptoms so soon. And honestly, I, er, kind of forgot how bad they can get. I’ve gotten so used to it I hardly notice it anymore.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, looking guilty. 

“Its okay, Remus,” You reassured him. And it was okay, no permanent harm had been done. Other than a semi-public freakout, and a mild anxiety attack, and some frayed nerves, you were fine. (or maybe just too forgiving). He had been so kind to you already, no part of you wanted him beating himself up over this. 

“I think I had read about it somewhere anyway,” you told him. “I just didn’t realize that was what’s going on.” 

He didn’t look any less guilty, but still, he nodded. “If it happens again, and I’m not there, try and get somewhere quiet. The jumper helps because it reduces stimulation, makes you focus on just one feeling,” He told you. “You’re probably tired, it takes a lot out of you.”

You were tired, not so much your body, mostly your brain, but still tired nonetheless. 

“We’ll walk you back to your dorm,” James offered. 

“That’d be great, thanks guys,” You smiled as the boys felt safe to approach you now. 

“At least now I know not to touch you for like, four days a month,” Sirius joked. 

“You could always make it the whole month,” You retorted lightly.

Finally, you exited the library, giving Madam Pince a wave. Remus walked in tandem beside you but left you a fair amount of space. The hall was empty and quiet other than the five pairs of feet tapping against the floor. 

“Again, I’m really sorry, I should’ve warned you about this sooner. The entire reason Dumbledore introduced us was so I could teach you about these things, and I didn’t even do that right,” He said miserably. 

“Remus,” You started softly. “You’re only human, it just slipped your mind, It’s not a big deal. Nothing really bad happened, and I’m not mad,” You reassured. “You’ve been amazing at helping me navigate all this, werewolf stuff. I would be a wreck without you guiding me. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a brilliant teacher.”

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, you figured debating on what to say. As you walked, he gave you a long, meaningful look. 

“Thank you,” He said with much sincerity. 

* * *

After being dropped at your dorm by the boys, you fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. You slept so well, in fact, that you only woke up after the rest of your dormmates were dressed and ready for the day. 

“Ah! You’re finally up, good morning sleepyhead,” Bianca cooed to you, as she intricately braided her hair in front of a floating handled mirror. 

“Why did no one wake me up?! What time is it?” You demanded, scrambling out of bed and haphazardly gathering your wrinkled uniform. 

Bianca shrugged indifferently and continued styling her hair, leaving you to wonder for the thousandth time you had met her; _seriously, how is she a Hufflepuff_. 

“You got in so late last night, we just wanted you to sleep in a bit. If you get ready quickly you’ll have time to grab breakfast,” Gail explained. Despite the sentiment behind the actions, you really wished they hadn’t done that. You had been waking up early to meet with the marauders for a reason, and this would make the third day in a row you were late. 

You groaned, “Ugh, I’m not gonna have time for that, I have to go find Remus and-”

“So that’s why you’ve been getting up so early lately, to meet with Lupin, huh?” Avery inquired. Your face flushed as you realized you just essentially exposed yourself to the exact thing you did not want to unpack with them. 

“Lupin? Really?” Bianca chided. “And how does your boyfriend feel about this?” 

Her voice really didn’t need to sound so accusatory. It’s not like you had done anything wrong, having male friends isn’t a crime, and frankly it wasn’t like you had a choice (Not that any of them knew that). 

Gail came to your rescue swiftly, giving Bianca a whack on the head with her textbook. 

“Ow!” 

“Stop that! There’s nothing wrong with making new friends, if her boyfriend doesn’t like that then he’s just being insecure.” 

Though your clothes were slightly askew, and you hadn’t even touched your hair, and your stomach was grumbling, you knew you had to be heading downstairs soon. The other option was to stand up the marauders, and you weren’t keen on wasting their time. 

“Thank you, Gail! We can head down now,” Your confidant step forward was all but blocked by Avery, standing steadfast in front of you. 

“You can’t go to class, or meet the Gryffindors on an empty stomach,” She reprimanded. “Also, your shirts on backward.” 

She was right. The badger that was supposed to be proudly plastered above your breast was hidden by your robed back. Without needing to be prompted, Avery turned to the two girls behind her. 

“You guys go on, I’ll wait with her,” She told them. 

“You don’t have to wait with me, you know.” 

She dismissed you, “I know you don’t like walking to class alone, and I want to make sure you eat something.” 

Times like this you knew this house was your perfect fit. The unwavering kindness of your housemates never failed to warm your heart. With only you and Avery left in the room, you almost wanted to tell her everything right there. She was leaning against the doorframe with a kind smile while she patiently waited for you to straighten out. _What would happen if I just blurted it out?_ You wondered absently. The thought was dismissed quickly, you hadn’t even come to terms with your new ailment. It’d be best to just...hold in this information for the time being. Besides. Despite Avery’s loving nature, there was still no way of knowing how she would react to her best friend being a werewolf. 

The mere idea of her rejection made you shudder, and left a pit in your stomach. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, and with your shirt on correctly, you turned to your friend. 

“I’m all ready, let’s go.”

She casually pulled an apple out of her robes and tossed it to you. You clumsily caught it as you walked out of the door with her.  
“I popped down to the kitchens this morning,” She explained. “I know how hungry you are first thing in the morning, I wanted to make sure you ate before class.” 

Taking a large bite, and being very pleased with the taste of it, you smiled at her (though your mouth was full, and it was admittedly a little gross). 

“You’re the best, I love you,” You said and linked your arm with hers, making your way out of the common room. 

She lovingly pinched your cheek. “Anything to keep you less cranky in the morning!” 

You rolled your eyes at her and laughed. 

“But really, I do want to talk to you about this Lupin thing,” She said seriously. Your eyes shot to her, but she kept looking ahead. Your previously happy mood began to morph to anxiety. 

“What? Why?” 

Avery sighed, “I have nothing against you being friends with him, I mean, he’s top of his class, and he seems like a nice bloke-” 

“Then what’s the problem?” you cut her off, rather rudely but you weren’t in the mood to mind your manners. 

“I’m not attacking you or anything, you’ve just been...different since you went missing. You were gone the whole day, and none of us knew where you were, and then McGonagall tells us they found you in the forest and you were injured,” She took in a shuddering breath, and you realized she was tearing up. 

“It was just awful, and we didn’t know what was happening, and we still don’t know what happened-” 

“I told you I don’t remember,” You weakly defended, hating that you had to lie to her. 

“I know, I know, and I’m sorry for that. All I’m saying is you came back from this traumatic thing, and you don’t want to talk about it with any of us, and you suddenly make all these new friends. I want to know what’s going on in your head because I care about you, and I’m worried.” 

When you don’t respond she continues. 

“You’re fine at transfigurations, you don’t need any help in that class. You don’t need to lie to us, you can tell us anything, you know that don’t you?” 

For what seems like the thousandth time this week, your heart begins to beat violently in your chest. The truth is on the tip of your tongue, but you don’t let it pass. 

“I do, I’m just sorting through some personal stuff right now,” you say, It’s not technically a lie.

“Remus is...well he just has been dealing with the same things, and we’ve bonded over it. That’s all.” 

You were aware that letting her know that you are keeping your feelings from her would hurt her, but you just couldn’t stomach lying to her right now. 

She was silent for a few moments before nodding, “Alright. As long as you’re alright.” 

You smiled graciously; if anyone was going to be this understanding, it was Avery, and you were damn thankful for it. 

When the double doors leading out to the courtyard swung open, you were taken by surprise. The sun was nearly blinding, and the abrupt change in lighting almost instantly brought along a headache. Wincing, you covered your eyes with your arm. 

“You good?” Avery asks. 

“Yeah, it’s just really bright.” 

She stares at you for a beat. 

“I mean, it’s not really any brighter than usual,” She says slowly.

 _Must be a full moon symptom._ You connect. You’d have to ask Remus about it. Lowering your arm, and deciding to deal with the dull pain, you tell your roommate you must still be tired. 

“I’ve got to go find Lupin, I’ll see you in class,” You give her a quick hug. Tossing the apple core in the trash, you walked as fast as you could without looking too stupid. 

By the time you were in sight of the familiar bench, the boys were already putting their things into their bags. 

“Ah, look who finally decided to show up,” James chided as he noticed you. The guilt filled your stomach instantly. 

“I’m so sorry! No one woke me up, and there was this whole thing with my dormmates asking where I was going and-” 

“Hey, I was only joking, no worries,” He reassures you, and goes back to gathering his school books. 

“Actually, I’m a bit offended that I’ve been stood up,” Sirius told you, though by his playful smile you knew he was only teasing you. You breathe a sigh of relief, glad that no one seemed mad at you. His grin only widened when you rolled your eyes and lightly punched his arm. 

Instinctually, your eyes traveled to Remus, and as usual, he gave a sheepish wave and a sweet smile. 

“Goodmorning, How are you feeling?” He asked politely. He scooted over and patted the space beside him. You took the seat gratefully. The bench wasn’t by any means meant for 5 people, so your thigh and shoulder brushed with Remus’s. Strangely, it didn’t cause any sort of negative reaction as it did last night. 

“Much better than yesterday, I’ve got a bit of a headache but that’s all,” You explained. “But I did want to ask you, is light sensitivity another symptom? Everything just seemed really...bright this morning.” 

He thinks for a moment. “It’s not one that I’ve had before, it might just be part of the sensitivity. It's normal to feel pretty uncomfortable since we’re just four days away. How bad are you feeling? Do you think you want to go to Madam Pomfrey’s?” 

“No, that’s alright, It manageable, I’ll just ride it out,” You reply “And I’m sorry again for being late.” 

He waves his hand dismissively, “Don’t worry about it, love, it’s alright.” 

Absently, you stare at him and notice the detail in his brown eyes. His smile widens as you look at him and all you can think is _merlin, what a ray of sunshine._

His three friends stand up, ready to leave. 

“C’mon, Moony, we’ve got places to be,” Sirius called. 

Remus looked from his friends to you. “Do you want me to walk you to class? The lads can wait.” 

You looked past him, and to the group of boys huddled together looking impatient. 

“Can they?” you joked. 

Remus laughed and looked down nervously. He looked cute like this, cheeks a little pink and smiling. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging how good-looking he is, right? 

Your name being called snapped your attention away from the shy gryffindor in front of you. A messy bunch of blonde hair and blue robes came into view. Instinctively, you took a step back from Remus, and shifted your attention to the ravenclaw boy jogging towards you. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” He said upon reaching you, and swooped down to plant a wet kiss of your cheek. 

“Hey, you,” You responded kindly, subtly wiping the saliva off your cheek. 

“Remus, this is Clark Middleton, my boyfriend. Clark this is Remus Lupin,” You introduced.

If you were paying less attention, you wouldn’t have noticed the way Remus’s smile faltered for a moment, or the way some of the ever-present sparkle in his eyes dimmed a bit. It took him a moment to react to your words. 

“Boyfriend, er-right, Hi, nice to meet you, Clark,” He stumbled over his words. The boys shook hands, albeit awkwardly. You studied the interaction thoroughly. Remus’s entire demeanor had changed in a second. His usual open, inviting manor had been replaced with a closed off-ness you hadn’t seen in him before. The rest of the marauders suddenly seemed interested in the conversation as well. 

“You never told us you were dating the Ravenclaw seeker,” James said to you, coming to stand next to his friend. Clark and James nodded at each other, with thinly veiled disdain. You thought they might know each other, both being such a large part of quidditch and all. 

“It never came up,” You shrugged, and it was true, There hadn’t been much chat about your personal lives. “Besides we’ve been so busy...studying,” You said, choosing your words carefully. 

Your boyfriend’s attention turned from James back to Remus. 

“You’ve been tutoring her in transfigurations, right?” Clark asked him. Remus nodded and flicked his eyes from Clark to you. 

“That’s right.” 

“Funny, I can’t actually recall her having any trouble with transfigurations.” 

Your eyes widened, and you laughed awkwardly (and loudly) in an attempt to break the tension. 

“Clark, I told you, I’ve been having trouble keeping up since I got back from the hospital.” 

Your boyfriend hummed absently, not moving his piercing gaze from Remus. Sirius took a step closer to Remus as well, and stood beside him protectively with his arms crossed. 

Clark wasn’t usually so...bitter. Though the relationship was barely newer than your lycanthropy, you had never seen him lash out at anyone. He’s a sweet guy usually, not that you were one to be particularly judgemental. 

Remus floundered awkwardly for a few moments; opening and closing his mouth, trying to come up with appropriate words to say. 

“I- it really is just transfigurations mate, I’m not the type- I would never- I mean you’re her boyfriend and-” 

Unexpectedly, Clark laughed heartily and clapped his hand on Remus’s shoulder, a gesture that made them look like old friends. _Huh?_

“I’m just having some fun Lupin, Don’t look so scared,” He said lightheartedly. 

Remus visibly deflated with relief. He smiled weakly and forced out a chuckle, “Of course,” He said, sounding out of breath. 

The entire interaction made you grimace, and from what you could see the other two boys weren’t looking at Clark with any fondness either. 

“Well, we really should be off, I’ll see you around Lupin, and I’ll see you at the game tomorrow, Potter,” Clark said and gave a nod of acknowledgment to the group.

As if this morning couldn’t get any worse, Clark slipped his hand in your own, and intertwined your fingers. The gesture was romantic, but very much unwelcome. The sensory overload from the previous night flared up again as soon as his skin touched yours. Your hand prickled uncomfortably, and the sensation traveled up your shoulder. The urge to rip your hand away was strong. 

_Act natural._ You told yourself. If your boyfriend started asking about your sudden aversion to his touch, you weren’t sure you would be able to come up with an excuse. 

“Cmon, Darling,” He said, pulling you towards the castle. 

Your eyes met Remus’s again. His gaze was apologetic, and somehow you just knew he understood. Your gaze reluctantly ripped from his, and despite the discomfort growing inside you, you allowed your boyfriend to lead you away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeez that took longer than I thought it would to write, lmao, my bad. I hope the interactions with the MC's roommates weren't too confusing, bc I did kinda struggle to write that scene. anyway, pls lmk what u think of this chapter! Ill try to get the next one out soon


End file.
